42 week update

This post contains TOO MUCH INFORMATION but I’m not writing it for you. I’m writing it for me, to get it out, because I am depressed and not holding my crap together very well anymore.

I had my 41w6d appointment yesterday and discovered that I was only at 4 cm. The baby was doing awesomely as far as heart rates and contractions and movement and all that. The midwife was not worried about the baby at all. She was worried about the placenta, however. She gave me cotton root to take once the contractions got going consistently. The problem with that is that the contractions aren’t consistent so I don’t know when to take it… it smells awful and tastes bad but not impossible to drink. Just strange.

We were in labor yesterday for most of the day after having the membranes swept, but the more into the evening we got, the less intense and slower everything became. I was having good strong painful contractions 5 min apart for most of the day but they were only lasting 20-30 seconds, which, if you’ve had a natural birth before, you know aren’t very productive. I was hoping that they’d remain about 5 min apart and just get longer and stronger (I was going to call when they lasted 45 seconds…) but they just stayed 20-30 seconds long and got 30-45-60 min apart. I went to bed pissed off at 10:30 PM because I had pretty much convinced myself that yesterday was the day. But it wasn’t.

And neither, apparently, is today. Labor started off twice today, once in the morning and once in the afternoon, only to completely grind to a halt. I’ve noticed that the nipple stimulation bit produces a contraction or two, but as soon as I stop, even if I was having contractions 5 min apart prior to starting it, the contractions would settle into a 30-35 min apart routine. So it’s counter-productive, I’ve got really sore boobs, and my right side is already making white runny drops instead of the golden sticky colostrum.

I’ve also noticed that any amount of physical activity slows labor down. Showers kill contractions completely, going for a walk slows things down incredibly, just being active doesn’t work. I can get the contractions about 10 minutes apart if I really lay still and concentrate like a madwoman, but the temptation to sleep grows when I lay down. Sleeping also kills contractions. So I gave up today at 4 PM. I can’t make something happen that just isn’t going to happen. So David and I are going to take advantage of having someone in the house tonight to “watch” the boys (they’ll be sleeping) and go out for a movie since some new ones came out yesterday and one of them seems worth a look-see.

I have run out of appointments but have been instructed to call the midwife on-call tomorrow morning and set up a time to go in. I don’t know what she’ll do but I do know that tomorrow is my last day with them before the measures they take become more drastic. I know they have pitocin and have more tricks up their sleeves, so I am slightly curious (though dreadfully so) to see what exactly tomorrow will hold in the quest to get the baby out.

I decided not to tweet anymore because it was just causing me to lose my focus. I am planning on updating it via my phone once the baby is OUT. Until then… whenever then is…