Okay, I just got an email from the flash site makers that my flash site should be ready by 11:59 PM on Monday. I ordered it Wednesday morning… they promise a 24 hour turnaround. Oh well… So I am itching to get that set up, but will have to wait. Meanwhile, all my passwords for the cpanel are sitting on a website for a “missing site ticket” out in the open for anyone to find (not that I am inviting or challenging any of you to go looking). I am not comfortable with that and I’m itching itching itching to go in and change all of the passwords asap.
I desperately need to get out of this house and find the most perfect patch of bluebonnets ever but things keep me grounded here at home. The three boys are like little anchors. It is so much easier to stay home rather than getting them all dressed (pants seem to be optional for the males in this household) and shoes on and buckled into their carseats in the van. Sheesh. It takes nearly an hour to get out the door from the time I first say, “Okay! Everybody find some pants! Time to get in the van!” This morning it was also the deplorable state of our back yard. Yes, we have 1 bluebonnet plant growing out there but we also have thousands upon thousands of weeds. There’s not much grass at all… just some St. Augustine that’s creeped under the fence from our side yard, but it ain’t much. That back yard is going to take a lot of work. And our mower is dead. Dead as in d-e-a-d, dead. It needs to go to the shop, dead. In my anger at the weeds, I got out the weed eater and wacked about half of them down this morning. My arms are shaking now. My grip is gone. I am going to be in pain tomorrow. Thankfully I don’t have a shoot this weekend. I fear I’d not be able to lift the camera or hold on enough to not drop that beautiful monster lens.
David came home for lunch (he is working today – they’re having some extra band rehearsals because U.I.L. is this coming week) and he knocked out the other half of the yard so our back yard actually looks not-half-bad. At least the weeds are green. :-)
But what I really wanted to share here today was about the podcast I caught live on ustream last night. Dawn is in my brain, reading my thoughts, and articulating them so much more clearly than I have ever been able to … it was eerie listening to her talk about friendships. She hit the nail on the head about my feelings about BFFs. (Best Friend Forever for those of you who have no clue about BFF)
It has been a very very long time since I have had a BFF (Hi Lorie!), someone local, a girl (sorry dudes, but you will never just “get it” when it comes to “those kinds of days”) that I talk to every day that I can just so totally be myself around and have my bad days with and still be loved. So even though I claim that David is my best friend (and he is, really he is), he will never be a BFF. Now that I am an adult, I doubt I will ever have another BFF. High school was a long time ago. The kids keep me so isolated (tethered to my house like some kind of ball and chain) and I’ve become so utterly afraid of being burned. Don’t get me wrong, I have some great friendships, but I’ve always felt like these girlfriends of mine already have that BFF spot filled. I pretty much know who most of their BFFs are… and it ain’t me, let me tell you.
Dawn made the statement that she’s felt like she needs to find someone who also doesn’t already have a BFF and while that sounds like we may have found a perfect match, becoming a BFF isn’t something that you can fill out an application and be approved for like getting a credit card or gym membership. It isn’t something that you can really look for, I think. It has to just happen. Believe me, I thought I was completely alone in this. I thought I was the only one who felt this way about finding, and wanting, a BFF. So, Dawn, thank you for opening my eyes to this and letting me know that I am not alone. It would rock if our friendship eventually grew into something we could define as BFF but I don’t expect anything magical to happen. Sheesh. Now that I’ve said that, knowing I’ll see Dawn tonight at a friend’s house… I hope to God that I don’t feel like I’m on a BFF date. (To get the full effect, click the word “date” to see the full episode. The clip below just doesn’t do it justice and I didn’t feel right about embedding the entire show on my site.)
Korben just woke from his nap so I’m off of the computer again. Yes, I’m still typing on the clunky keyboard. And I halfway expect it to fix my errors as I go along like the iPhone does for me. I am getting spoiled.
And you inspired me to call my BFF. My biggest fear when we made the decision to leave Austin was leaving my BFFs. I had several. Two have survived the long distance and I am always grateful. I had this same grumble with my Mom, and she said that as the kids got older and going to school, involved in activities, etc., I would meet my girl’s friends parents and have opportunities to have those BFF relationships. It is hard to cultivate those relationships when the kids are so little unless the existed BK. And that it is happening just like my Mom said (she is a pretty smart cookie.) Don’t despair. You won’t always be chained to the house. As they get older, you will be able to get out and about more as well. I know we did as W became older. Had to become a recluse again when O was born, but starting to slowly come out again. I have always loved entertaining. I’ve always been the hostess (I am Monica in so many ways). I had my first party this afternoon since my New Year’s Eve party welcoming in 2008, and eight months later welcomed O…. I am getting back into the game….