davejenbarnes » pregnancy

going through my head

Jennifer — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 16:06:54 +0000

There are so many things I think about on a daily basis these days that I want to put some of them down here for a record.

For one, I am still not completely pain-free. My hips hurt a lot in the morning. The colder the morning, I’ve noticed, the more they hurt. I don’t feel like I walk normally… I feel like I walk kinda like a football player or like a big man. The grace has gone from my movement. Having danced for so long and having had dreams of being a ballerina, grace of movement was always invisibly important to me and I didn’t realize just how important until recently. Time will probably continue to heal this but it annoys me right now… such a little thing.

Also a little thing, but dang, I have a “muffin top.” Thanks, Amy, for that label… it fits me perfectly now! My belly got so stretched out with Korben inside that the skin is just well, it hangs over my pants like a muffin hangs over the little paper, and I’m afraid it always will. I have never struggled with losing weight; that’s not the issue. It’s the shape… and the fact that most of my tops are from 2004 when the style was short and form fitting. Yeah, that is not gonna work now. I totally understand why long and loose in tops is good after you have kids. It took me until my 3rd but I get it now. I have the stretch marks to convince me that a change is in order. Unfortunately, we have very little money for a new wardrobe, so I will be wearing my maternity clothes for some time to come. Because they cover the muffin.

A deeper struggle that I am having is digesting that we “are all done” having kids. Children are a gift from God. Who are we to say “no more” to God? Yet on the other hand, I do not want to chance what I went through with Korben’s birth (or worse) again. I think that if I were to have another baby, I would really get my hopes up for a girl… unreasonably so. I look at families with one or two children and wonder how they are content with the one or two that they have and hope that I can be content with the three that I have had… and never long for that fourth… or the girl we never had… I think this is just all because it’s still so fresh. Korben is still so new. This topic will continue to roll around in my head for a long time.

False Alarm, kinda-sorta

Jennifer — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 12:06:04 +0000

Hi. Well. Last night contractions started at 10 min apart around 6 pm and by the time I went to bed, were 6 min apart. As soon as my head hit the pillow, they stopped completely. But they were painful, couldn’t walk, had to focus-kind so we sure thought we would be getting up around midnight to go have the baby. Oh well.

I have an appointment today at 2 pm and I’m going to let them do whatever they want to do to me. 2 pm is prime nappin’ time. I’m beyond caring about risks and possibilities at this point. David will be coming home to drive me to the appointment since sometimes the random contractions can be a bit much to handle, and, being random, I never know when one is going to hit.

J and L-man have been at Grandma’s house for a handful of days, having a blast, but I hear that James is missing his train tracks in a big way. I was really hoping that we could have had this baby while they were living it up in James-heaven. I hear that Lowell did really well for his first trip up there minus his mommy and daddy. What a big boy! He got some fish and did some swinging. Tons of fun!

click picture to enlarge. (I love this feature, check it out!)

41 week belly…

Jennifer — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 21:14:56 +0000

I compared this to the last picture and I have certainly gotten bigger though it feels like I am actually getting smaller. On more than one occasion, I have felt like I have a new weapon – just swing the belly around and take out toddlers left and right.

40w4d

Jennifer — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 20:09:03 +0000

80%, 2cm, 0 station – no progress in a week

protein in my urine, but not enough to be concerned with – midwife said it was normal past due to see an increase in that… ???

blood pressure 120/80, which is the highest its been this whole pregnancy but is still okay (I guess, she didn’t seem concerned at all about it)

No weight gain in a week.

41 week appointment on Tuesday, then every 3rd day or so until… I explode

I could go into a lot more detail but suffice it to say that my midwife thinks this baby has been ready for a whole week — that it is totally ready to be born. Must. Do. Kick. Counts. now that we’re this far along and the baby is this far engaged and we’re this close to the end.

Contractions have stopped. They were more regular 5 weeks ago than they are now.

39w4d

Jennifer — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 19:20:34 +0000

I had a nice long talk with the midwife today which helped my mental state more than anything. I love that the appointments are 30 to 45 minutes each, as long as I need, really. We talked about stripping my membranes if things had progressed a certain amount. She did an internal exam and was shocked at how low the baby’s head is — zero station — which basically means I have a head directly between my hip sockets. Because of how low the baby’s head was, she decided to let nature take its course and did not do anything to any membranes. I’m glad, though, because I hear that it hurts!

I’ve been warned to monitor the intensity of the contractions more than the frequency because an hour or two of really strong contractions 15 min apart could do more than 6 hours of weak measley contractions 2 min apart because this is our third baby. At 80% effaced and 2 cm dilated, I was already in the hospital with James due to having contractions 2 min apart (but they weren’t doing anything!) but he wasn’t born until 12 hours later. I’m just praying that the intensity allows us enough time to get there and still labor for a bit and not the other extreme: having the baby in the car! eek!

So we could have this baby tomorrow or a week from tomorrow. Still a waiting game and anybody’s guess.

Fast Projects!

Jennifer — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 04:38:32 +0000

I’m onto really short projects now as far as the yarn addiction goes. Things that I can finish in a few hours, you know, in case we all of a sudden find ourselves holding a brand new human. Tonight’s project: a BELT! for ME! Yep, I guess you could say I’m looking forward to being able to tie something around my middle instead of tying everything just under my boobs.

Still no baby. It feels like the head is even lower now though and the movements are all slow and strong. My contractions were all pretty regular today, either being 2.5 hours apart or 4.5 hours apart until around 5:30 and they’ve been hourly since then, but I’m going to bed soon. I did clean the master bath like a madwoman this afternoon as well as the better part of the bedroom.

Soon. Very soon.

38.5 weeks

Jennifer — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 17:34:25 +0000

110/70, no weight gain, no internal check… just waiting…

… still waiting …

Just wanted to hop on to add that the fundal measurement was shorter, so the baby has officially dropped and boy can I ever feel it. Golly-bob-howdy! Next appointment (39.5 weeks) is next Wednesday, same time, same place, same midwife and she did promise me a progress check next week. None this week because “it doesn’t mean anything. I could be 0 cm dilated and have the baby tonight or I could be 4 cm and walking around pregnant for 3 more weeks.” Love how laid back the midwives are about it all… so matter-of-fact… so patient… letting my body be the boss.

We’ve reached our Milk Date

Jennifer — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 14:28:50 +0000

Huh?

I know, I had that reaction, too. David informed me that a milk date is the date on the milk carton, and that our due date is on the newest milk jug so we know we’re getting close.

It is what it is

Jennifer — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 14:47:54 +0000

38 weeks

I hear all the time how “small” I am but everything is relative, itsn’t it? I’m up to my all-time highest weight so I know I’m not “small” by comparison to the two previous pregnancies I’ve had. Regardless of “big” or “small” I’m ready to be “me” again.

In anticipation

Jennifer — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 05:01:02 +0000

The bags are packed, the batteries are charging, the memory card… well, it will be in one of the two DSLRs (we ~~may yet get out and pick up~~ bought another 2 gig cf card so both DSLRs are primed and ready to shoot – yipee!) all with 2 weeks to go. When I was in labor with Lowell, the bag didn’t get packed until I was probably around 8 cm dilated, laying in bed at home, David in a panic, about an hour before Lowell was born. THAT was an adventure. Our cell phone died, we didn’t have the phone numbers written down… I am shocked that we made it to the birthing center with the camera!

This time, I’ve got the baby’s bag very well packed. There are gender neutral receiving blankets (twice as many as I took last time because they all got icky and the birthing center does not supply a lot of things that you pay top dollar for in the hospitals, and besides, isn’t it more cuddly to bring ones you actually like? I think so), white tee shirts, socks, wee little diapers, wipes, the bottle of olive oil (don’t ask), and on top of it all are the two storage bags. One with pink contents and the other with blue contents. I know the one that is not used will get tossed aside, so I wanted to put them in something somewhat protective to keep them from getting soiled in any way (baby goo, floor, dust, getting walked on, neglected, forgotten, unneeded, etc.) plus, this way, the name is right there, ready for the midwife to copy. I still have to put some things in my bag… and some things on the list are last-minute (popsicles, for one)… but we’re getting there. Any day now… It seems crazy to put so much effort into packing a bag that will be home again a few hours after being needed for the birth.

We’re almost ready. Almost.

Jennifer — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 16:44:08 +0000

David aired up the tires and filled up the gas tank in the blue car there on the right. We’re hoping to be able to take that car to the birthing center and leave the van with the boys’ car seats for the grandparents to bring James and Lowell to the birthing center to visit during/after the birth. (If it’s during, I’ll insist that they’ll be in the waiting room.) I have a feeling that after the new year, we will be selling that car to Carmax since we haven’t heard anything from David’s brother and sister-in-law. Hey guys! If you’re reading this, let us know! We’re kinda holding on to it for you!

David is still working a lot. He has to work tomorrow as well (Region Orchestra clinic and concert and 11 students from the CPMS band made it.) then we get him for a week, during which I hope to have this baby!!

I’m struggling with feeling like this baby/belly is cheating my boys out of the best mommy they could have. My attitude should be so much better about the whole thing. 38 weeks pregnant is such a conflicting place to be… I can’t do very much without getting grief from people (including myself) about needing to take it easy and I can’t take it too easy without getting grief from the boys about wanting to go outside and run around like gazelles and mommy, won’t you go down the slide with me?, mommy, climb up here too!, mommy, can you chase me? mommy, lets have race! mommy, come over here. mommy, pick me up! … then throwing tantrums when I try to explain that I just can’t do those things right now. It’s the same mommy-guilt-thing that happens all the rest of the time, only with the added weight of this big belly. It’s the conflict between needing to turn inward to mentally prepare myself for the labor/birth and the fact that I simply do not have that option.

I told David the other night that if we lived in a tribe, there would be plenty of other women/family/other children to take the boys and play with them and chase them and tickle them silly. Why don’t we live in tribes anymore? I really think that is the way to go when you’re this close to having a baby.

No news is good news, I guess.

Dave — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 20:54:57 +0000

Sixteen days until our due date. I gained almost 4 pounds in one week. Hoo-rah. No internal check because the midwife was running 30+ minutes behind and in a hurry. She said she’d guess that we’re 100% effaced and 2-3 cm dilated but there’s no telling until she checks but then she never got around to checking so who knows… Fundal height of 37 cm. Blood pressure 110/70. Little baby heart rate in the 140′s, probably gaining half a pound a week (or more!) now. I’m supposed to try to fall asleep on my right side for comfort sake since most of the baby weight is on my left and when I sleep on my left side, I end up getting all kinds of ligament pains and cramps. Blah blah blah…

SO, no baby. This midwife, Joan… Jean… I can never remember – AABC has one of each, warned me to call as soon as I thought I was in labor. We’ll see… It’s just a waiting game at this point.

I wanted to edit to add that we would post our baby names if we actually knew what we’d end up with but I just changed the girl name this morning and we have yet to decide 100% on a boy name (it’s about 80% set I guess). The middle names are pretty decided.

Girl middle name: Mae
Boy middle name: David

As for the first names, well, I guess we will all have to wait and see.