just start

We were blogging before blogging was cool.

I registered the davejenbarnes.com domain on Christmas Eve, 2003 — two thousand and THREE, baby!  This domain just had its TWELFTH birthday.

We had a great blog for years.  Then we had three babies and the babies turned into little people with opinions and personalities — and I got scared.  Scared for their privacy.  Scared for my privacy.  Scared that people would steal our pictures.  So I stopped.

It’s a little more complicated than that.  I, unlike most humans connected to the internet, do not like comments; I just don’t care to know what people think. I don’t want anyone’s advice. Encouragement falls on deaf ears. Criticism goes ignored.

“The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.”
~ Virginia Woolf

So back to the time when I quit blogging… well, let’s just say the comments my blog was receiving back when my boys were babies were enough to convince me to throw in the towel.  I was cloth diapering, breastfeeding, raising my babies how it made sense to me and I gave up blogging because of the comments.

Offensive comments.
Comments that confused me.
Comments that didn’t even make sense.

I cared too deeply about what others said they thought of me. I didn’t like sitting down to write and having a picture in my head of my audience being comprised of only the commenters. Strange, judging, confusing … hurtful people. The heart of the matter now is that by closing the comments on the blog with this new start, my mental auditorium is empty. I don’t need to be aware of the sole loner, online lurker, single occupant who comes in and takes a seat in that auditorium.

I don’t need to know if anyone is reading this at all — because this is for me. This is for us. This is not for you. This is not for the grandparents to print and leave out lying around the house for us to awkwardly find when we visit. This is not, even, for my boys.

Sometimes ya just need a place to put things out there, though, and that’s why this blog is returning.  I need that outlet.  My mom asked that I keep the domain going and my brother offered up hosting, so here we are.

FAN tastic.  Let’s get 2016 off to a start. Good, bad, whatever. Just start.